My Favorite Topic: Food

One of the great things about going to the University of Wyoming is the surprising diversity in the music department here (at least concerning the graduate students). Many of my colleagues are from different areas of China and South Korea, and it’s been a lot of fun talking to them about the many differences between their home countries and America. One of the big differences that I like to talk about is in the style of teaching, both in the university setting and in the private lesson setting. Since I’ve spent the last five years of my life at college I have a pretty firm understanding of how American institutions tend to work and it’s just really neat to think about how it works in different countries.

But more importantly there are huge differences in food and diet. For some reason since I’ve moved to Laramie I have become a food monster, I’m always hungry and I’m always eating! The logical part of me says its because I’ve been lifting a lot more and working out a lot more than previously, but it still seems a bit odd to me. Anyways, the fact that I focus on the food differences between my friends and I won’t come as a surprise to any of them.

So what of these differences? Well, a couple of weeks ago a group of us got together and we had our friend Stephanie make some authentic Mexican food. That wasn’t exactly the plan; we were breaking in my new ice cream attachment for my beautiful new stand mixer (thanks mom!) when Stephanie decided she wanted to contribute to the food as well! It was great: the food was delicious, we had a blast helping Steph prepare everything, and we just had a lot of great conversation. So naturally I decided that this was something that needs to happen more! Even for my American friends (which actually aren’t very many here as Ashley and I are the only two American graduate students in our year) we all come from different environments. We all grew up eating different things; we have different tastes and skills. So why not share it? Which is super exciting, because that means we all get to get together and eat! What an excellent idea!

So for tonight we will be going to Mei’s place and indulging in some homemade Korean cuisine. I have no idea what’s on the menu but I am really excited. Especially since my boyfriend and I recently broke up, I’m looking forward to going on and seeing people—maybe we’ll go out for a few beers afterwards! (: The interesting thing about Mei is that she is Korean but grew up in China. She retained her Korean culture but also absorbed some of the Chinese, so this is going to be an even more unique insight into her life.

I’m not trying to say that food can reveal everything about a person, but it does say a lot. The cliché is that you are what you eat, and I think it has a point. How you approach eating says a lot about how you take care of yourself. If you don’t care about yourself and your body, what says you will care about me and mine? Obviously this is a generalization—enjoying fast food on occasion is by no means a deal breaker, but if McDonalds is your idea of a daily lunch, then we might have a problem.

The cultural differences in food can be a great eye-opener for many other differences. When eating with my Korean friends we don’t all have our own plates, instead we order a variety of plates and share everything on the table. Korea is a very collectivist place, fitting in and working together is far more important than being an individual and this is revealed through how they eat. When eating with my friends I learn many things about them because it gives me space to relax and just ask. Perhaps the straightforward act of sharing a meal makes you feel closer to someone, or maybe that’s just me. Regardless it’s something I love to do.

So tonight we will continue the new tradition of enjoying each other’s cuisine, company, and stories. I look forward to it and I’m glad that food is something that can bring us all together.

times they are a changin

I’m not usually a fan of declaring New Year’s resolutions. I feel like people more often then not announce their list of life changing resolutions on the first of January (many of them referencing alcohol and the moderation they hope to embody) only to just shift back to their original habits by the first of February. That being said, I do think that every once in a while we should reflect on our lives and look at what there is in it that makes us happy, what makes us sad, where our stress comes from, and our happiness? If there are changes to be made, then incorporate them slowly—change one element of your life, once that has become habit, alter another element, and so on.

My resolution is not one of physique or consumption—I have already changed these elements of my life, and although they are not perfect they are not the new change for the New Year. Instead I am focusing on my mentality, the way I handle different situations, and the ways in which I deal with change.

Change is a funny thing. It can be gradual—where, in the middle of it, you don’t even realize it’s happening until you reflect back on where you were before. Or it can be drastic and life changing, where you would have to be blind or dumb not to realize that something just happened. This sort of change is the one that most people focus on, fear, and avoid at all costs. The end of a relationship, a move to a new city, state, or country, the loss of a loved one, or starting all over with a new job, these are all things that cause pain, uncertainty, and trepidation.

But sometimes it’s the gradual changes that we should be more aware of. The gradual diminishing of conversation and interaction between friends, the drifting apart of loved ones, but also the systematic building of strength as you work out, the piecemeal revelations of your self.

Over Christmas these two types of change were combined into one epic, awful relationship explosion. Simultaneously everything changed and yet there has been a gradual effort of rebuilding what once was. And it’s making me appreciate the little things that had previously gone unnoticed. The way one doesn’t notice as one builds trust and comfort in a relationship. The way in which, if not careful, two people can gradually take each other for granted. The fact that, even if we think we do, in our twenties most of us don’t really know what we want and need in our lives. And that we sometimes overcomplicate it through our ceaseless need to share our lives with another. Even more so that it is completely worth it to do so, it is worth the possibility of a break up that a relationship brings. 

But sometimes the end is at the back of your mind, and you don’t know how to make it go away. You don’t know how to handle the change that a break up brings, the open ended possibilities, the self-reliance and lack of commitment to another when making choices. When the future has always included another in your mind, what do you do when that other is no longer? Whether it be a significant other, a family member, or a good friend, this absence can be extremely profound.

Even if that absence is temporary—perhaps you are travelling alone, rather than with a friend, now you can do whatever it is that You want without having to compromise with another. Does this excite you? Or does it make you nervous; do you not know what to do?

One thing about this upcoming year is for certain: I will be travelling to Europe for the first time, and I will be alone for the first three weeks of my trip. I hope to have friends join me after those three weeks, but that isn’t even for sure. What will I do when I land in the airport, don’t speak the language and have no idea where I am? I can speculate about what I will do, but the only thing for sure is that when I get there, something will be done. I need to take comfort in the fact that I am strong and independent, and that when I make it to Rome I will be able to stand on my own two feet. There is a lot of time between now and then, so who knows what will happen, and I think that the best thing to do is to just trust myself.

My New Year’s resolution, then, can be seen to be to trust myself. To do what I do and know that it’s what I do, so have fun while doing it. This resolution isn’t a fad, it’s not me committing to some stupid diet or crazy exercise program, it’s a fundamental mental revaluation of my self, and I will commit to it.