A new year!
It’s amazing how different things have been this year compared to last year. I’m at the same school, studying with the same professors, and focusing on the same things: music and pool. But yet things couldn’t be more different, new friends, roommates, and colleagues. Combine that with a new work ethic and renewed focus and passion and this year can’t be any more different from the last. I am disappointed in myself for letting last year decay into the awful musical, personal, and emotional hellhole that it gradually descended into, but I can’t change how things were in the past—al I can do is look forward.
And damn, does looking forward feel good. I still have no idea where I will be next year, although there are some faint outlines of potential living situations coming to at the edge of my vision, but I’m still learning how to revel in this open-ended freedom. Friends and family continue to tell me that things will work out, that if I work hard and just keep doing what I do something will happen, and I’m starting to believe them. So much can happen in just one short year and the only way to let good things happen is to leave a space open in your life for new experiences to fill. In the past this space felt like a void, a black hole that desperately needed to be occupied by something, anything. But I’m realizing now these aren’t negative spaces, they aren’t terrible things to be avoided, but rather they are opportunities, openings for future endeavors. This does not imply freedom and empty time, the space isn’t temporal as this is the busiest year of my life so far. It’s a mindset, a thought process, and a willingness to say ‘yes’ to something new and different.
Who knows where I will wind up when I’m open to going somewhere new.